By Ritah Ainembabazi Ayesigomwe || The writer is a journalist and CEO Standard Reports.
Credit: Standard Reports.
Growing up in a devout Anglican family, I made a vow to myself to save my virginity for marriage. Throughout my school years, I stuck to my promise, despite having boyfriends. After completing my diploma at the age of 22, I landed a job at a radio station in Mbarara and quickly rose through the ranks to become a news reporter, anchor, and eventually, a news editor and presenter of a weekly entertainment show.
As a young and ambitious professional, I attracted many suitors, but I was determined to wait for the right person. That was until I met him – the one who swept me off my feet. We connected deeply, and I thought he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I let my guard down, and we became intimate. But little did I know that our relationship was built on lies and deceit.
His ex, the mother of his child, reached out to me on Facebook, revealing that they were still in love. I was devastated, but I chose to believe his lies and convinced myself that their relationship was over. We continued to see each other; our communication was constant over the phone at first, but things started to change. The communication began to dwindle slowly, and I started to call him often instead of him calling me. He began to pretend to be busy, ignoring my calls and WhatsApp messages.
Little did I know that he had begun to rekindle his romance with his ex. The final blow came when his ex messaged me on Facebook, telling me that I was being used and that he would never marry me. To make matters worse, the woman returned from abroad, having finished her contract, and I saw her photo in the guy’s room, which she posted on Facebook. I was heartbroken, and my world came crashing down.
Because I loved the guy so much, I looked for ways to win him back and googled ‘how to get back to your ex’ and got some tips that worked to some extent. One of them was a no-communication rule and posting photos on social media while looking good. He started trying to reach out, but I gave him no attention, which was part of the rules. I also started training with one of the dancing groups in Mbarara to distract myself from my sorrow, but nothing seemed to work.
I started looking for job opportunities in Kampala, partly because I was tired of my current job and wanted to leave my work environment since the guy knew my workmates and would pretend that it was I who was not interested in our relationship, not him. By God’s grace, I got an opportunity in Kampala after a few months and started working here. When he noticed I had moved to Kampala, he tried to get back to me, and we gradually resumed communication.We started meeting up in public places, and he took me out to parties. One day, he asked to visit me at my place, and I accepted. While he was at my place, I declined his sexual advances, and he took it easy, deciding to go back home without sleeping over. Another time, when he visited, I gave in, and he slept over. Early in the morning, he left. As we were chatting on WhatsApp, I received a voice note from his end, and to my surprise, the voice was of a lady complaining that her husband had slept over at my place.
I guess she deleted the message because when I met the guy at his workplace to ask him about it, he didn’t see the message in our chat history, but I still had it in mine. He tried to lie that it was his sister who was a friend to his ex and never liked me because of that reason. But I didn’t buy his lie and kept interrogating him, and he defended himself. When I left, he sent me a message, and for the first time, he told me that “ntusse kukisenge,” loosely translated as “I have reached the wall,” meaning he couldn’t continue with the relationship and asked for a break.
I froze and felt like dying. I would cry myself to sleep every night, and the pain followed me everywhere for over a year. One day, I stumbled upon a Facebook group where women shared their struggles and testimonies. Many recommended seeking help from Pastor Tom Mugerwa’s Mutundwe Christian Fellowship (MCF) church. Out of desperation, I decided to give it a try.
I attended a Friday overnight service, and although I was skeptical at first, something about the teachings resonated with me. I returned to the church for three days of fasting and prayer, and it was there that I discovered the power of forgiveness. I learned to let go of my hatred, unforgiveness, and sorrow, and I began to see the world in a different light. I continued to attend the church overnight services, and towards Christmas 2019, I made the decision to give my life to Christ.The COVID-19 pandemic hit, and churches were closed, but I continued to feed my spirit by listening to MCF radio. I developed a personal relationship with God, and my depression began to lift. I cut myself off from worldly desires and found solace in Christian content, gospel music, and conversations.
When my ex tried to reach out, I preached the gospel to him and shared Bible verses against sexual immorality. I had forgiven him, and I wished him well. I had finally found peace.
I met my husband on my first day of evangelism in 2022, and we married in a beautiful ceremony surrounded by friends and family on 20th January this year. I’m grateful to God for giving me a man who shares my values and beliefs.
Looking back, I thank God for the depression that led me to Him. If I hadn’t gone through that dark period, I wouldn’t be the Christian I am today. My story is a testament to God’s love and redemption, and I hope it inspires others to seek Him in their darkest moments.
The writer is a Journalist